She said, he said, they all said…

What the ad said. The inference is clear
As you can see, the sentiment remains the same. Sexism in and of itself does not require exact quotes “all of the time, every time.”

What I want every person to remember about Shere Hite is not the paraphrasing of an undeniably sexist ad campaign, but the monumental body of work she completed over her lifetime which allowed women ( and by extension the people those women chose to have sex with) all over the world to have nicer, better, more enjoyable and satisfying sex lives. She changed things up, for the better, by first giving women a voice through her work, helping to eradicate shame and embarrassment about something perfectly normal and healthy. She opened up the idea that we could redefine what sex meant to us through our own diverse desires. The questionnaire she initially sent out in the early seventies seems out of date in places where it centres on heterosexual relationships and marriage, but you have to allow that as a given, most people would not talk openly about sex, or name the parts of their bodies or even necessarily know their bodies in intimate detail at the time. However, if you take a look at the questionnaire it is still incredibly relevant in 2020. I took the time to type up all the questions relevant to me, and answered them in full. The penultimate question says, “Is there anything on your mind you would like to speak about which was left untouched by the questionnaire? If so, please add it here.” Whenever the opportunity to re-evaluate comes along, I say take it, and don’t worry how long you take. Thank you, Shere Hite. Sisters are still doing it for themselves.

2 thoughts on “She said, he said, they all said…

  1. I’ve never studied Hite’s work, but I’m sure it was and is important. I remember my mother studying The Hite Report circa 1980. She admitted what she was reading to her son, but she was a bit embarrassed, and kept the book wrapped in plain brown paper.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The only book I ever wrapped in brown paper was Frenchman’s Creek. I can imagine a lot of women did the same thing with the Hite Report when it first appeared. I’d recommend it to everyone, but probably not Frenchman’s Creek 🙂

      Like

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